The Reality of Rebuilding
When faced with whether or not to make a monumental change, it’s easy to want to crawl under a rock and pretend that this change doesn’t really need to happen. Then, as if the thought that some major aspect of your life changing isn’t frightening enough, you realize that changing this major “thing” is going to infect almost every part of who and what you are.
I can relate.
More recently, I completely let go my current company, (Pur | The Company) and it came with some substantial big girl risk-taking… and a good dose of surrender. I anticipated both of these things happening so I tried to be as prepared as I could for both emotional rollercoasters, despite knowing that I couldn’t predict every scenario.
It’s been tough…. it’s been ugly… and it’s been one of the best decisions I could have ever made for my business. It’s not going away, it’s just going to new hands and I’m pleased to let it.
It was not easy getting to that later part…. I mean, I am human. I’ve been through so many changes with this company. It’s not running a company of diverse, and radically different women… all of which have their own talents (and frankly) character flaws. I do too. Change hurts everyone along the road… but I have found that those who have been on the “same” page with you… are the ones who tend to understand (or willing to try to understand) why things had to change in the first place. Those who are not, will make hasty decisions, say completely unexpected things, or ignore you altogether. Hurt feelings make people say and behave in ways that are even foreign to themselves… and knowing that helps keep things in perspective for me.
After you deal with the outer pushback of making the changes (because typically that will come first) you then start feeling the pressure of your own agenda. This is the space where you will question every change you have made and fight every moment to not let that poison take over your vision. Some call this space the ego, others call it your voice of sabotage… I like to call it “complete bullshit.” I try not to get the least bit comfortable with these thoughts because I know how they can incapacitate my ability to execute. No apology, no pleasantries… because I know NOTHING valuable, ever comes of that space.
The absolutely beautiful thing about rebuilding your life (in general) is you get to take all the knowledge you’ve learned to this point… and build something better that will have more meaning and, with any luck, be the legacy you leave behind.
This monumental change might leave you feeling like you’re on an island. In fact, understand right now…. that you are going to feel like you’re totally alone… and not a soul is going to understand what you are going through. People might ask you how they can help (which, ironically, is totally unhelpful) because let’s face it, you don’t even know what kind of help you really need. Your closest network might abandon you at this time, not out of spite necessarily, but because they might just not be ready for your change or they might be really comfortable with their unchanged world. This is not your journey, and I cannot stress that part enough.
Love this process. I can tell you from personal experience already (despite that my latest “change” is merely months old) I am totally “in love” with this process. I won’t lie, I have plenty of bad apple days, but overall this change has significantly impacted me personally … and the future of my business and life. The quality of my work has well surpassed my expectations. My creativity is relentless, in fact, I have a hard time powering down each night. I have more meaningful conversations with my fiancé (something we have never struggled with, but has further strengthened our connection) I have also noticed that I have become more determined and motivated because I feel my path is more clear and my purpose is more defined.
You will have your own revolution when you finally decide to rebuild… you may even experience some of the things I have felt while rebuilding your own empire. Lastly, don’t get too hung up on the obstacles, but more so, how you overcome them. Take a chance on yourself…. because win or lose…. really, you’ll win Every. Damn. Time.
This is where your old life ends…. and your new life begins.