Maybe, You’re Just a Shitty Leader
People are often afraid to lead. Strike that. People are afraid to lead… the way they want to… for fear of how it will be received. As a result, they become ineffective. I’m here to tell you… leadership has nothing to do with guiding people. Leadership is done for the self… and people will fall into place if they are called to your leadership.
We learned to “follow the leader” way back in grade school, so it’s no wonder we are all looking for that person to take us to the right damn place. It’s no wonder why we think we need to take a team to the right damn place. We all want a leader, so we know how to lead others.
I deal with a lot of leaders each day. This is mostly with business owners in my media work, but also leaders in my Monat business. I’m often confused when people say they need to lead their team better. They feel they need to pull people along and provide soft pillow-like nets below them when they don’t hit goals or make mistakes. I’ve also watched them use shame to get people to work harder. Like, I get it… I work my ass off, and it can be frustrating that others don’t have the same work ethic as I do. But at the end of the day… I don’t need to resort to low vibe attacks to get them to “produce” for me. In fact, I’ll move on without them.
Lead The New Way
I’m going to offer you a different approach to leadership that will not only take the pressure off of you for “showing up for your team” but will also hand you back your personal power.
Lead your-fucking-self, babe.
You’re an ineffective leader because you are trying to show up for a team that isn’t buying what you’re saying. If they ain’t getting it… move the fuck on… and find the people who do. This isn’t to suggest that you need to find people you can rip on all day and call that leadership, but it does mean you can be salty and still lead with grace and humility. (Hey, that’s me.) You can still be a magical fairy leader-type, and if you don’t get more fairies, so be it; keep looking.
I want to see my team(s) succeed. Guess what… it isn’t up to me if they do. I put tools in front of my team almost daily, and I really could give a shit if they use it or not. This doesn’t mean I don’t care about them… it just means I’m not going to get bent and take it personally if they don’t use the tools. My tools might not work for them.
This is the same way my parents raised me. They would put me in front of the opportunity, but they refused to do the work for me. When you show up for yourself and lead yourself, people are either gonna get it or they aren’t. Sometimes, when you show people what they have to sacrifice to have their ideal life, they will run the other way. Let them. If you get lost in convincing a team to see the fire or the dream, you’re going to be a slave to them.
Lead Yo-self… and Watch What Happens
True story. Just yesterday, I lead a power hour on Facebook for ANYONE who wanted to sit among people who were motivated and business-minded. You would be surprised what you can do in an hour of focused work and intention. Guess what… Not one person showed up.
I still did. I literally lead a one-hour facebook live without a single soul present. I lead myself and produced an hour of dedicated work because I’m committed, and that’s the kind of leadership I need.
Leadership begins with how you need to be lead. Done in truth an authenticity. Not some sugary coated rah rah bullshit, unless that is TRULY how you are motivated. And that is fine too. Personally, that stuff has never worked for me.
The end of it is… lead yourself first before you ever try to lead a team. Show up alone if you have to. Trying to lead the way using someone elses’ tactics or personality won’t end well. And for the love… stop worrying about motivating people who can’t be motivated. Bid them well and walk the fuck away.